Finding: A breathtakingle beautiful glimpse into the world of the wild forntier

It simply does not matter that this table is too screwy to hold a drink. This is an amazing work of art. Owwwwwwwwwwwoooooooohhhhhhh!

Finding: Golan the Mighty is the supreme Avatar of all musical thought and success

Check out GOLAN, master of Innerspiritlightcommand entities. You will undress for him and he will show you the Holy Musical Sexual Union.

He will also show you how to "gig".

He has a mighty Rod of power that contains liquid wisdom. He will liberate you from your harmful obsession with "money". No dudes though. Women only. Golan the Mighty is not interested in a sausage party.

He then claims to channel Tito Puente.

God, I love Craigslist.

Finding: You will be amazing for how good it is!

IF you need new mattress for goonite sleep here's the SOLUTIONS!


I can't believe it. After all this time the secret to a goonite sleep has been revealed. All you need is a futon mattress made of 100% pick cotton, and voila! You could choice something can bring you best sleeping experance! Get your goonite sleep here.

Holiday Gift Guide: For the Collector

Bag of Lint, culled by artisans from an authentic "Speed Queen" for over 8 months. Soft and supple, Bag of Lint makes a perfect gift for the collector, looking just fantastic alongside stacks and stacks of newspaper. You will never find lint so fine at a price so reasonable.*

Bag Of Lint, $12.75 (or barter)

*Garbage can not included. Bag of Lint not guaranteed to reverse aging. Bag of Lint is not fuel or food.

Finding: Shoe chairs should step the fuck off also

I don't know what I was expecting when I clicked on the Craig's List post for "Trendy Shoe Chair--$125", but I'll tell you one thing, I wasn't expecting THIS. Holy shit!

I really like the development of the whole thing:

Title: Trendy Shoe Chair--$125

Subhead: Very cool look for your place.

And then BAM! Big-ass, black-and-white, stiletto shoe chair!

My stomach hurts from the laughter. Maybe you should experience it for yourself.

Finding: Pink couches should step the fuck off

Trolling for bargain furniture today on Craig's List, I stumbled over this perfectly hideous eyesore. So I was all, "what up, ugly ass? You so ugly, when you entered the ugly contest, they said 'sorry, no professionals!'" But then the couch said all these mean things that made me feel pretty bad about myself and ponder the futility of life.

Later, while looking at myself in the men's room mirror, I started coming up with all these great comebacks to the couch's relentless streak of cheap shots and baseless mockery. For example: "Get stuffed!" and "you look like a chewed up piece of bubble gum soaked in Pepto Bismol!" I would have shut the couch down for sure with zingers like those. Really though, this bitch of a sofa should have just accepted my insults from the get-go and left it at that, because it's so damn ugly. Pink couches should step the fuck off.