Check out GOLAN, master of Innerspiritlightcommand entities. You will undress for him and he will show you the Holy Musical Sexual Union.
He will also show you how to "gig".
He has a mighty Rod of power that contains liquid wisdom. He will liberate you from your harmful obsession with "money". No dudes though. Women only. Golan the Mighty is not interested in a sausage party.
He then claims to channel Tito Puente.
God, I love Craigslist.
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