Finding: This cat is my cat twin

Tough as nails and built like a brick shithouse. Sammy doesn't like or trust you. His lawn is NOT your lawn. Even if you outweigh him by roughly 12x, he'll take on your forearm to defend His Mistress' Holy Grassland. Then he'll cuff you in the fucking face. We're so alike, really.

Finding: Inter-species noursling is so hot right now

Seems like everywhere you look, some mammal is having a litter. And then into that litter, someone throws a foreign baby in, to mix things up a little. A single type of baby animal simply doesn't cut it anymore, in the fast-paced, highly competitive world of cuteness. It must be that mingling them teaches us to be more accepting of each other. Squirrel, dog, hippo, liger, let's break down these superficial barriers. And suckle on some teats like God intended!

Finding: Noursle

While searching the thesaurus for synonyms for "educate" I came upon this gem of a word: noursle. It may be used thusly, "When we found the kitten in the tool shed, we noursled it as one of our own." Have you said it out-loud yet? It is fun to say. Noursle.

Finding: Moo & Oink is the greatest thing I have ever seen.

I just laughed so hard at the way he says, "MoooooOOO and OiiiiIIIIIInnnKKKK!" at the end that I fell off my chair at work.

Moo & Oink Dance - Classic Commercial

Finding: Cats look cute wearing damn near anything

In terms of cats wearing stuff, you think you've seen it all. But then - BAM! - cat wearing a hardhat. Can't you just picture Foreman Meow driving a mini bulldozer in his litterbox? Cute!!! Cats can wear practically anything and look adorable. Most of it has to do with how pissed they get. Unlike dogs, who appear to enjoy parading around in emasculating froufrou outfits, cats are having none of that. But that just makes you wanna hug 'em and squeeze ' em even more -- beew!

Finding: Moles are cute but also strange

I'm not sure why I keep poking around this eco-gardening site, seeing as my backyard is a concrete hole covered in dog doo. But it must have to do with either their great products (see: deer fly head trap) or their pictures. Look at this poor thing. Smashed betwixt thumb and forefinger, this mole was probably moments before just digging around for something to eat. Is it his fault for having been born with huge, wide hands perfect for tunneling? Maybe he hates his job, but those are the cards he was dealt! I can totally relate to that. Totally. Also? He's kind of cute in a way but also kind of creepstervich, no?

Mole-Relief™ Dry Mole Repellent

Holiday Gift Guide: For the Post-Op Pet

I was telling, well, shouting to someone about this at a noisy bar last night, and even I couldn't believe the words coming out of my mouth.

"TESTICULAR IMPLANTS FOR PETS."

"WHAT?"

"TESTICULAR IMPLANTS. FOR PETS THAT HAVE BEEN NEUTERED."

Prices range from $79 for Neuticles Original($94 a pair, naturally) to $719 for Neuticles Ultraplus with ScarRetard. I would also like to point out that three firmness selections are available. Wouldn't you like one, just to play with on your desk while you're working? I think it would feel nice.

Neuticles. Testicular Implantation for Pets. "Neuticles allowing [sic] your pet to retain his natural look, self esteem and aids in the trauma associated with neutering." Ahem.

Findings Holiday Gift Guide: For the Pet Lovers

For the Cat Lover: Hidden Litter Box

We’d have to agree with the makers of this ingenious contraption when they call it “The Greatest Gift.” What cat lover wouldn’t cherish the “Tuscany handfinish” or the charming look of a plastic plant in their home? Plus, nothing adds that homey feeling to a family room like the smell of cat shit. What a find!

Hidden Litter Box, $129.95




For the Dog Lover: Pet Memorial

Granted, the recipient of this thoughtful gift might cry upon opening it, but here’s what to do: Just gently pat them on the back and say, “It’s ok. You’ll thank me for it soon enough.”

Pet Memorial, $39-$55